In a bit of banter to a friend nearby in Melbourne Australia, I ask some fun questions, which were --- This church at East Burwood must be a good church. Do you have many members? Do you have a pastor? What rules do you have? (The "church" referred to is Wendy's home)
The reply was as follows:
Response to an inquiry about the East Burwood Church (written with tongue in cheek)
Session decided to call a meeting to discuss how to appropriately answer your questions regarding the East Burwood Church. Following are the minutes of this meeting held at 9:45pm in the official conference room 5th March 2003. We wish to inform you that this church is not a 'good' church. It is a GREAT church. It has no fixed walls, no membership rituals and no pastor. The two residing silly saints are part of a worldwide body consisting of millions of sensible saints with Christ at its head. Headquarters is in the King's castle located in the still, calm and peaceful eye of a hurricane. The Prevailing Wind or Director is known as the Holy Spirit and is unseen. He makes His Presence felt however by blowing the hurricane everywhere distributing His Father's love through the spirits of the residents and out to others.
Time does not exist in this church as we always live in eternity - forever now. We enjoy simply being and Sonbaking. We worship - i.e. make God worthy of our time and effort - every day in all that we do privately and publicly in our work and daily life. We love to fellowship with other true believers as often as possible and are not restricted just to weekends.
Our rules are the following ten commandments -
Thou shalt not utter the words 'should, ought, must or try.'
Thou shalt not depend on one's own logic and not be impatient for answers to endless questions.
Thou shalt always maintain a sense of humour and infinite inner joy.
Thou shalt be free from sin and guilt and live accordingly - i.e. holy, perfect, blameless and righteous.
Thou shalt have Christ as thy reference point and focus and also allow Him to live in and love through thy being.
Thou shalt be in unity with God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Thou shalt be abundantly blessed with the Father's love and pass it on to others.
Thou shalt know the Father and not just know about Him.
Thou shalt yield to the tender care and discipline of the Father.
Thou shalt not be bound by the Law but freed by God's grace.
These minutes have been passed and seconded as a true and accurate record of proceedings. This session has been treated with the utmost seriousness of frivolity with frequent outbursts of prolific diaphragmatic spasms.
Signed and affirmed by the moderator and secretary.
East Burwood Church