Everything that Becomes Visible is Light
I don't think I have told you about my Chinese girlfriend. Her name was Shirley. She was an employee of mine when I owned Business Data Processing. I thought she was beautiful, because she had a wonderful light inside. Janie and I had been married for six years and I had been a Christian that long as well. Everything was wonderful for me then. We had many friends in Christ, our church was growing and the fellowship was intimate and wonderful.
I was attracted to Shirley and fought the attraction as long as I could. We often talked in the course of work, and I looked for excuses to be with her. I imagined being with her alone, talking and holding. It wasn't long before I got up the courage to ask her to go out with me. Shirley loved the Lord, but wasn't even surprised when I asked her, but she answered that we were FRIENDS in Christ. I didn't hear what her heart was telling me, and my imaginings continued looking for ways to be with her.
I remember being in my bedroom reading Ephesians when these words leaped at me.
But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.
I knew the light being described was Christ and I knew that the lust that was in me was a darkness that needed to be exposed to his light. The shocking word from that verse to me was that this darkness within me had the potential to not just be exposed, but to become the light. Everything that becomes visible is light. Everything that becomes visible is CHRIST.
What a miracle that would be and how revolutionary. lust in me becomes the Light of Christ, It was the hidden thought in my heart that needed to be not only exposed, but transformed.
So that was my challenge to God, and it was my prayer of faith to watch the miracle of a transformation.
I immediately told Janie about my dark thoughts. Of course she was hurt and there was much to talk but we also prayed. Then Janie and I shared our situation together with Shirley.
Shirley and her husband became our best friends. Taking trips with us, eating out often. She cooked Chinese food, Janie cooked Mexican food. We watched our children grow up. Even now 20 years later, I love Shirley. She was the first woman who was a real friend to me. I can't help but smile now when I think that I tried to make friendship be a dark evil thing. Religion would have had me turn my eyes or even pluck them out to avoid the temptation. But God was ready to free me to a new world without boundaries. It never was lust it was love, but I had misunderstood. Now in the Light, I could see.
I realize that you have much deeper darkness to deal with. Some aspects that you don't want to face or remember. I urge you to take your darkness as you are able and present it to the Father who has guided your steps to this point and offer it as perfect sacrifices of yourself. Then expect and watch. It is for Him to do the transforming work. All we can do is begin to see Him in ALL things.
8 for you were formerly darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), 10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord. 11 And do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; 12 for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. 13 But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. NAS